'She didn't tell me she was allergic': Person Gets a Cat Even Though Their Roommate Is Allergic, Except the Roommate Agreed Beforehand, and Now, They Don’t Know What to Do

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  • 01
    Posted by u/jazzymeanie 3 days ago AITA for getting a cat even though my roommate is allergic, even though I told her I would before she agreed to move in and she didn't tell me she was allergic until later?
  • 02
    Basically, i'd been living at this place for a year. My roommate was moving out and I needed a new one. An acquaintance said she was interested, the first thing I did was tell her I was getting a cat soon, that was my only nonnegotiable. She said that would be fine.
  • 03
    She moves in, a couple weeks later I told her I would start looking at cats and she said "actually I went to my friends house the other day and she had a cat and my allergies were bad I'd appreciate if you don't get one." We had a couple conversations about it after that where I told her it was very important to me and that my therapist said I should definitely get a pet. She agreed after we discussed ways to manage her allergies. So I got one.
  • 04
    A couple weeks later, she comes to me upset saying that her allergies have been bad and she's been miserable and she felt like I didn't believe her when she said she had allergies and that she agreed because it felt like I gave her no choice but to agree. I feel bad that her allergies are bad, but I'm not giving up this cat and I'm not moving out either. Am I the ?
  • 05
    Ok-Conversation-8237 3 days ago Partassipant [1] • NTA. You were up front before she moved in, and even waited until she agreed a second time before actually getting the cat. If her allergies are truly much worse than she thought they would be, she needs to find a new place since you were there first.
  • 06
    And to her comment that she felt forced to agree, she could have just said that she knows now how bad allergies are and can't live with a cat, and to wait to get one until she is able to (promptly) move out. 228 Reply Share
  • 07
    tango421 3 days ago Partassipant [1] NTA. You were upfront. It was discussed and pre-planned. However, now you have to balance the costs though as unlikely she'll be staying there for long.
  • 08
    mlc885 3 days ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [48] ΝΤΑ Obviously you cannot give away your pet. You both (to be overly kind to roommate) sound like a handful, but she knew going in that you wanted a cat and were buying one. If she wants to leave then you both deal with that, but the cat is an entirely innocent party since it does not understand contracts or law or relationships.
  • 09
    Don't let her "accidentally" let your cat outside. It is a real danger.
  • 10
    doesitnotmakesense · 3 days ago • She should move. NTA. She came in under false pretences and then tried to morally blackmail you.
  • 11
    Unreasonable-Skirt 3 days ago Nta. Time to find a new roommate though
  • 12
    Oldbutehh 3 days ago • Honestly your roommate should find out what part she's allergic too. Some people it's fur, dust from litter box or the dander. I use a dander/hair loss reducer for my kitties as I have the dander issue. FYI she also could try 24 hr allergy pill as well to see if it helps.
  • 13
    lanibird- 3 days ago NTA. You were transparent and firm in your decision to get a cat, and you disclosed it before she moved in. Your current roommate should've considered this more carefully before saying "OK."
  • 14
    Pets are a lifetime commitment, so I hope she doesn't expect you to get rid of your pet. At that point, she should move out if her allergies aren't coping with medications.
  • 15
    • Aggressive-Mind-2085 3 days ago Craptain [162] NTA ", the first thing I did was tell her I was getting a cat soon, that was my only nonnegotiable. " .. She KNEW there would be a cat, and agreed. tell her to accept the cat, or to move out.
  • 16
    Leave Interesting3290 3 days ago NTA - she could have said no before she moved in, instead she still moved in. Don't get rid of the cat, get rid of the roommate, but be careful nothing happens to your cat when you are out
  • 17
    kw022 3 days ago NTA. You communicated upfront that the cat would be nonnegotiable. If your roommate suddenly developed a cat allergy and accommodations to manage the allergy aren't effective then reasonable next steps are for your roommate to move out and you to find a roommate who's a better fit.
  • 18
    Silent-Shallot-9461 3 days ago NTA. She lied from the get go. She must itch or move.

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